Written and Illustrated by Koriander Bullard Okay people. We're all grown up now. So it's time.
The 2010's started off roughly. Everyone needed a "safe space" after starting their Twitter wars, we all became self-entitled and then got angry when nobody showed up to the pity party. But we are evolving as a society. So it's time we give up the things that aren't serving us anymore. We need to make a clean sweep of it now before the new year rolls in. And since it's only May, we can still say it's "Spring Cleaning" time. So break out the thimbles, Peter Pan. It's time to kiss off some bad habits. 1. The "She won't date me because I'm a nice guy" lie. Well this was a cute trend about five years ago, but it's old, son, and nobody is buying it. In fact, let me be bold about this one. If you have to remind people over and over that you are a "nice" guy, chances are that you are NOT. My husband is a real "nice" guy. He holds the door open, minds his manners and tries to do the right thing. It's actually what attracted me to him, and I am a born and raised female. Know one thing he didn't do? He never whined and complained that women didn't want him because he was a "nice" guy. Anytime he got rejected, guess what? He moved on and found another female. No memes, no photoshops, no complaining, and no slut-shaming either. That's right, he didn’t once accuse any woman who broke his heart of being a "whore" or a "chick who only likes assholes". He took it on the chin, and moved on without so much as a Facebook rant, where the woman's name is only typed as "certain people". No excuses guys. And let me point out another thing. Just because she's single does NOT mean she is obligated to go out with you because you asked. Remember the one girl in school you thought was gross? She could have been the fat chick or the "crazy" chick, but you know what I mean. The one girl in school nobody wanted to be near. If she asked you out, and you said "no" is it because you're only into bitches? No, it's because she's not really your type. Well if it's okay for you to say "no" to any woman you want, why are you suddenly playing the victim card when another woman denies you? Don't pretend this is "different" because it's not. It's the same and you know it. Just as you're not obligated to date the fugly chick because she asked, that girl on Twitter also does not have to go out with you, just because you're pretending to be a "nice" guy;. 2. The ________________ issue with the LBGTQ community. I seriously don't even care anymore. I don’t care if you're butthurt because a Transgender is using the bathroom or because Sally and Susie tied the knot, I can assure you that your problem with the LBGTQ community is imaginary. Get over it. Permanently. I know your problem is fake, because of the temper tantrums you're throwing on Facebook. You are pretending this is about protecting your "morals" you read about in the Bible, which is a hateful, man-edited tome that preaches it's "okay" to marry a girl between the ages of 9 and 12, if she's had her first menses. (That's a pretty word meaning "period" by the way.) Let me be clear. If your book still advocates child marriage, it ain't a book of morals! You don't need the book to love Jesus either. You remember him. That Middle-Eastern Jew who said we should love thy neighbor regardless of differences. NEWSFLASH!! Raping someone of their rights is not "love" and it certainly is immoral no matter what you want to pretend. Put down the book, dial down the tantrum, and move on. 3. Your problem with women. I find it hysterical that the only people who complain about feminism are men, and the few, brainwashed, backwoods women who actually think this is 1957. These immature little boys act like they have to be pampered everytime a woman speaks up. Here's an example: Woman: I'm sick of being mansplained. Why are guys always talking over me, can't they wait their turn to speak? Man-Child: What about GUYS?? We're ALWAYS being picked on! It's not fair!! This isn’t about YOU, guys go through this to! This is about ME!! When you're not trying to start the pity parade over the problems you only seem to imagine happening when a woman has it happen to her, you're trying to rape her of her right to her own body. I once saw a man rant on Facebook in a long winded, scientifically inaccurate post, because a 13 year old little girl who was raped, wanted to have an abortion. This man, a complete stranger by the way, called her every dirty name in the book, tried to say she brought the rape on herself, and then demand that this girl, once again, a stranger, keep and raise the baby, because rape babies are a gift from his misunderstanding of God. By the way. Without health insurance, that "rape gift" costs: $10,000 to be born. $120 per visit at the OBGYN before birth 24/7 care for 18-21 years $50,000 college tuition And thousands in school, clothing, furniture, toys and food for those 18-21 years it's an "icky welfare whore" and no longer a "precious" life. Grow up. It's HER body. HER money and HER life. Not yours. Let her choose what happens and stay back. 4. Deadbeat Facebook parents Guys and gals, we're sick of you both. You whine and cry on Facebook about how "horrible" it is you have to "waste" so much money on the kid you "ain't never see" and you demand the pity party, but then the next 45 pictures are of you, at the club, getting crunk, making replacement babies you will also "never see" while you're slut-shaming your ex and demanding to know where every penny went. Meanwhile, your kid is at home, struggling to survive off of the pittance the court made you pay, and wondering why their absent parent doesn't love them. They see you on Facebook. They know YOU chose not to spend time with them, NOT the other way around, and they know you drank away their college fund. We're not going to be your enabler anymore. Next time you feel like crying about your ex, don't be shocked when you're deleted from my Facebook. 5. Hipsters Look kids, it's over. We weren't too thrilled with your parents ~ the Yuppies ~ back in the 1980's, when they suddenly thought it was cool to raid their parents' closets, and we are less thrilled with your lot. That brown, knit beanie with the avocado and baby puke scarf? Yeah. It's not "ironic". It's disgusting, much like that bird's nest you call a beard. TAKE IT OFF!! Your parents ditched the "Homeless Doobie Brother" look for a reason back in the 1970's. The neutral "back 2 nature" look is an eyesore. Take off those crocs, ditch the khakis and go put on a pair of jeans, like a normal college grad. Also, your language? It's got to go. If you can't learn the definition for "ironic" I'd rather you not use it at all. Same goes for the term "Per se" and any and all instances where I've caught you trying to psycho-analyze comic book characters. Sometimes, things are very literal. Sometimes it's okay for a subject to be in black and white, did you know that? Your gross misuse of the English language is as annoying as those Allen Sherman glasses. Please return both your dingy Instagram filters and your self-entitled attitude to Camp Granada. And no, you may not return to your "safe space" either. 2016 is almost half over. We need to make some changes while we still have daylight. Koriander Bullard is an author, cartoonist and human rights advocate. Keep up with her on Facebook!
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Written and Illustrated by Koriander Bullard Racial injustice has been illustrated to me very well recently.
MMA fighter Kimbo Slice died suddenly on June 6th. Reports are inconclusive, but ESPN is claiming he may have been waiting for a heart transplant at the time of his sudden death. Just three days earlier, Muhammad Ali had also died after a long battle against Parkinson's syndrome with the official cause rumored to be septic shock while he was hospitalized. And just how did the internet offer their condolences? By posting a meme of the two fighters in Heaven, being refereed by Harambe the Gorilla. And why was the gorilla chosen? Because Harambe died recently too. And Blacks and gorillas look alike. Ha ha” said the internet. And who said we should get over it and like the jokes? The Caucasians who made the joke, and then encouraged their non-ethnic friends to laugh at this “joke” which hasn't been funny since the 1930's. Just a week earlier, my husband and I went out on a date night to watch the new X-Men movie, X-Men Apocalypse. On a post-film walk to the local Speedway for a soda, we watched a white pick-up truck slam against a bumper in front of the store, while a white car parked dangerously close behind it. A large woman came out of the car, slamming the door behind her. She went to the pick-up truck, ripped open the door, and started screaming at an elderly man and the young lady inside the truck. Clearly fearful, the younger woman took a stuffed animal and ran inside the Speedway while the large woman shouted obscenities at her, then turned back to the old man. Taking a deep breath, the woman screamed at the top of her lungs “I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LEFT ME FOR THAT N****R LOVING WHORE!!” She then drags the old man out of the truck to scream at him, while the younger woman sneaks back inside the truck and slams the door. The larger woman then races to her car, speeding up and blocking the truck from leaving safely. The elderly man drives onto the curb, turns the car, almost hitting another parked car, and has to see-saw himself out of the spot to get away from the mad woman. As the old man tried to get away, I kissed my husband and snapped a selfie mid-kiss. The flash of my ZTE Maven caught the attention of the mad woman, who started screaming in our direction that the world was going to “Hell” in a hand-basket, because of savage N****r lovers. She was starring at my tan when she said it. After the Jerry Springer fugitives left, I overheard someone saying from afar “Now yew don't mind people like her. Bless her heart, she's just ignorant. She don't know no better.” I beg to differ. She appeared to be old enough to remember the 1980's. That makes her old enough to not only know better but to behave better as well. Returning to Muhammad Ali for a spell, the internet has been re-tweeting a tweet from Donald Trump from December 6th, 2015: “Obama said in his speech that Muslims are our sports heroes. What sport is he talking about, and who? Is Obama profiling?” June 3rd, he's not only posting an “RIP Ali” tribute on his page, he announces the next day that he intends to attend the services for Muhammad Ali, and expects the family to embrace him. His fans are demanding we like, accept, love and laugh at his words and cheer him on for supporting his racist, anti-Muslim sentiments. This is where we are at with the state of racism in the United States. People on the internet are demanding and insisting we view these random acts of ignorance as “harmless jokes” instead of the clear and obvious prejudices that they actually are. Left and right, we are being denied the right to protest this verbal abuse. When we stand up against prejudice, we're told we're acting “butthurt” and we're being too “soft” and easily offended. The definition of rape culture and rape acceptance is that we are supposed to lie down, take this abuse and like it. Now even a 3rd grader can tell you that this is not sexual assault, and certainly not even in the same ballpark as actual rape. But this rampant, unwarranted, unwanted racial injustice is a rape on our senses as adults. Our minds are being assaulted, our senses attacked, and we are expected to accept and like it? No. And no means no. As Americans and as adults, our job is to say “no” to this injustice and fight back. To set a better example for the rest of the world and to raise our children to accept the fact that this is unacceptable and contradictory to America being the great melting pot as we are told it is in public school. And yet ever since Barack Obama became president, this type of blatant, juvenile disregard for human tolerance, has become a plague. Not only are we accepting the abuse, we are teaching out youth to accept and produce the same, if not worse abuse in the form of these tasteless comments. It's gotten so out of hand, that hardly a year of Obama's twin term run has gone by without at least one news story about minors under the age of 17 being caught wearing blackface on school grounds as a harmless prank” and rampant are the ills of tweens and teenagers on social media, mimicking their parents' monkey and gorilla jokes, simply because they are told it can;t hurt anybody, because it's a meme and not a bomb. We are living in a backwards society. Strong are those who protest and stand against the current of racial intolerance, weak are the pebbles that float aimlessly down it's river. Koriander Bullard is an author, cartoonist and human rights advocate. Keep up with her on Facebook! Written and Illustrated by Koriander Bullard Gamers in general are a whiny lot this decade.
For example, if you give them a classic Sonic The Hedgehog game, they'll complain it's not edgy enough. Make it edgy and they'll complain they want the original back. Give them the original and they'll beg you to kill off the Sonic franchise. Stop making Sonic games and they beg for a sequel. These armchair, DeviantArt designers thrive off of complaining, and boy did developer NISA give them plenty to complain about. So after several petitions, NISA has finally gotten the greenlight to release Criminal Girls 2: Party Favors for the PlayStation Vita this September. For those who do not know, the game centers on a male protagonist as he “redeems” criminal girls and women of their crimes through “motivation” games, in which the player is allowed to sexually touch but not actually have sex with each of the girls. You can choose whether or not to gag the girls as you tease them, and for each mini game, the girl of your choice will earn better magic attacks, higher stats and will eventually grow closer to you. Imagine if instead of collecting and raising Pokemon, you were collecting and raising ex-convicts . Well if the game was to be released as-is, the ESRB would have slapped it with an AO rating. An AO would be the death knell for the series in the US, as most stores refuse to sell AO rated games. So in order for NISA to be granted an M rating, some changes had to be made. One change involves the Motivation system. In Japan, it's called the “punishment” system, and the longer you poke and tease the girls, the louder they beg you to stop. Rape, even if no actual sex is taking place, will earn the game an AO, so for the west, NISA changed the name of the action, deleted the sound files of the girls protesting, and replaced them with approving moans and heartbeat sounds, making the scenes consensual. But aside from this and a few minor changes in dialogue, again, making these segments about consensual sex rather than rape, came the art change for the character Tsukasa. In the Japanese port of the game, Tsukasa can be found tied up on a bed, fighting everything being done to her. Her legs and breasts are bound by a thick rope, and she fights back tears as you molest her. In the English cut of the game, Tsukasa is no longer tied up. Her pose is a little more relaxed, she isn't crying anymore, and she allows you access to her body without complaint. That was it. Gamers started to nerd-rage at the sight of Tsukasa's in-progress re-draw, and they immediately took to NISA's message board, Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr to not only complain, but to blame feminists for the changes. It was not long before these savages started carpet-bombing female gamers with rape and death threats, blaming everybody in the world for what happened. Taking immediate responsibility, NISA posted the following to their message board after an emergency house-cleaning of some of the comments: “The “censoring” of this game is in no way an attempt to “pander” or “market” to certain people. It is in no way a response to any anticipatory backlash by “feminists” or “SJWs”. Understand that these edits were done to bring the game down to an M (and equivalent) from an AO, not from an M to an M (but with less sexual content) or T. We know what game we’re making, y’all. It’s from our parent company. If this game required no edits whatsoever from the ESRB and was released with an M rating, I would love it. I would rejoice. All of the “SJWs” in the world could send me death threats over email, form a picket line outside the office, egg my house, set my car on fire, and write essays and give television interviews about how Criminal Girls 2 is the most abhorrent game ever made and no civilized person should ever play it and shame on everyone involved in its creation…and I would prefer it to having to deal with all of this “censorship” drama. Don’t ever, ever believe that we want to censor things.” Even more laughable is the fact that these male gamers are using this game as a poster child to show how “unfair” men are treated on a whole. This is the state of male gamers of all ages these days, in case you haven't noticed. Anytime I or another female talk openly about harassment we've been through, a male immediately has to throw himself a pity party. “WHAT?? Everybody gets attacked, NOT just women. This isn't about YOU!! It's about ME!! I'M the one being discriminated against. How dare you tell me to stop posting sexist things, you're bullying me, WAAAAAAH it's not fair!!” The male then tries to tell me (a female, by the way) the difference between a “real” feminist and a “fake” feminist. In case you're curious, a “fake” feminist accuses men of being sexist. Of course. Funny thing is, the game isn't being that badly censored, which is why the anti-feminist pity party is unnecessary. Have a look again at the above image. Yes, the rape imagery is gone, but take a closer look. Tsukasa is actually wearing LESS clothing than her Japanese counterpart. You're still getting overtly sexualized, nearly nude females, they're just less repulsed by your character now. And again, you are still encouraged to molest the girls, only now they are less hesitant to let you near their bodies. Isn't this more of a victory than a defeat? Considering that Tsukasa is a fiery “bad girl” type who is strong willed, the change to make her instances consensual actually fit her character more. She's a “naughty” girl who carries a giant club around in a prison for bad women. Again, isn't making her more welcoming of the sexual play a victory? These male gamers claim that there's no such thing as “rape culture” but their recent display in response to de-raping of the Criminal Girls 2 cast just proved them all wrong. And hiding behind the censorship debate and attacking total strangers online who happen to be feminists, when this is actually about turning rape into consent, is just plain criminal. Koriander Bullard is an author, cartoonist and human rights advocate. Keep up with her on Facebook! |
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March 2017
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